ok, so I can’t completely complain that my summer has been shitty so far.
I finally went to France for two weeks in May. I came back and got my usual summer job at JCP. I saw a good amount of my friends for a bit. I got to dink with my two best friends to celebrate my 21st when I got home.
however, I feel like the negatives are outweighing the positives. my job is grueling, i’m up early everyone morning and i only get weekends (or one day in the week) off, the weather has been fucking inconsistent (I WANT SOME DAMN SUN FOR A FEW WEEKS, IT WAS FUCKING RAINING IN FRANCE, AND I DON’T NEED IT HERE).
i feel like none of my friends (at least the ones I WANT to spend time with and do crazy things with) are around and the friends that do wanan hang out with me are…irritating. one of my best friends is moving to fucking North Carolina for work, two are in NYC for the summer, one’s in Maine, two are dating and the second clingiest couple i’ve ever met, and none of the people I know at school from home give a fucking shit about me, the one trip I had planned to make down to the Cape for a weekend just got fucking derailed today, and I have to decide whether I want to move to NYC for an internship at some point, when all I really wanna do is stay home since I wasn’t here last summer.
also, add on that I really need to try and get into better shape this summer, study for the LSATs, take care of something so I can take a class in the spring/fall that I SHOULD have taken years ago done, and basically decide what the fuck I want to do after graduation…
i wanna fucking rip my hair out and scream. there’s a few other things I could mention, but those are private and I’m dealing with those…ugh.
all I wanna do is pack a bag, get on the first plane to somewhere tropical and far away from my life. i just wanna run.